What is Intimate Partner Violence?
Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is a pattern of coercive and controlling behavior that may include physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, or financial abuse. In many cases, abusers exert complete control over a victim’s life through manipulation, intimidation, or subtle threats, even without overt physical violence, and all forms of abuse are deeply damaging. IPV is a widespread, life-threatening issue affecting millions of people across the United States, cutting across all backgrounds and communities. While high-profile cases may capture public attention, countless individuals experience abuse every day. Survivors often face significant barriers to leaving abusive relationships and may endure abuse for years or even decades. It is critical for survivors to know that the abuse is not their fault, they are not alone, and help and support are available.
Red Flags of Abuse
• Wants to move too quickly into the relationship.
• Early in the relationship flatters you constantly, and seems “too good to be true.”
• Wants you all to him- or herself; insists that you stop spending time with your friends or family.
• Insists that you stop participating in hobbies or activities, quit school, or quit your job.
• Does not honor your boundaries.
• Is excessively jealous and accuses you of being unfaithful.
• Wants to know where you are all of the time and frequently calls, emails, and texts you throughout the day.
• Criticizes or puts you down; says you are crazy, stupid, and/or unattractive, or that no one else would ever want or love you.
• Takes no responsibility for his or her behavior and blames others.
• Has a history of abusing others.
• Blames the entire failure of previous relationships on his or her former partner; for example, “My ex was totally crazy.”
• Takes your money or runs up your credit card debt.
• Rages out of control with you but can maintain composure around others.
Different Forms of Abuse
Physical Abuse – Physical abuse is used to gain and maintain control through fear and may or may not be present early in a relationship, but often escalates over time or during major life changes such as pregnancy or attempts to leave. It can include acts such as hitting, kicking, strangling, using or threatening weapons, destroying property, harming pets, or denying medical care.
Sexual Abuse – Sexual abuse is common in abusive relationships but often underreported, leaving survivors with deep feelings of shame and humiliation. It includes forced or coerced sexual activity, fear of saying no, degrading acts, sexual violence, and denial of contraception or protection from sexually transmitted infections.
Emotional Abuse – Emotional abuse occurs in all abusive relationships and is a powerful tool for control that can severely damage a victim’s self-worth and sense of reality. It may involve constant criticism, manipulation, blame, threats, isolation, extreme jealousy, and behaviors that make the victim feel responsible for the abuse.
Financial Abuse – Financial abuse traps victims by limiting their access to money and resources, often making it difficult or impossible to leave the relationship. This can include controlling finances, hiding assets, creating debt, interfering with employment, or damaging the victim’s credit.
